So she’s really gone. Wow. It seemed as though that demented poodle would be around forever. Who woulda thought?
But Friday she got sick and overnight she got sicker. By 1:30pm Saturday, we had put her down. Based on the symptoms, the vet didn’t even question our decision. She was one sick and suffering pup.
I don’t regret our decision. I know it was the right thing to do. She was suffering and it’s not right to let animals suffer without either curing them or putting an end to their misery. We couldn’t cure her, so…
Now the house is way, way too quiet. There’s no clinking of the chain collar. No barking when someone comes tot he door or walks down the alley next to the house. No clicking claws rattling down the stairway first thing in the morning. No flips and woofs when we walk in the door. Just silence.
I was thinking yesterday about all the things that won’t happen anymore now that she’s gone. The kids’ feet will be cold at night because there won’t be a furry heater curled at the ends of their beds. She won’t be romping with them in the back yard and they won’t be trekking her around the block to run off energy. No cold, wet, black nose nudging my elbow when I try to keyboard. No big, dark, pitiful eyes begging for our attention. No pawing at our knees for petting. She won’t be accompanying me along the lake shore trails anymore. I’ll have to walk alone from now on.
I suppose those who aren’t dog lovers or who’ve never owned a dog wouldn’t understand what I’m talking about. Schatzie was definitely just a dog, with no soul, no life of grace. Still, she was an important part of what made the Clan the Clan. Now that she’s gone, the Clan won’t quite be the same.
I also was thinking yesterday about what message God might have for us in all of this, because as Christians we know perfectly well nothing happens without reason. God had Schatzie’s death worked into His Divine Plan. It will probably take me a while to figure it out, if ever.
On the surface, I see how it’s got us digging into our identify as Clan. Who were we? Who are we? Who will we be? What is it that actually defines us? Where do our attachments lie?
All important things to ponder as we wait for our hearts to heal from the loss.