Is there a person in your life who has wronged you to the point that you can’t forgive them? Is there a person who has harmed you so severely that you consider them your enemy? That person could be another Saul.
As I wrote about in my book, Forgiving Mother: A Marian Novena of Healing and Peace, I was raised by an abusive mother. She was deeply mentally and spiritually troubled and took it out on her husband and children. Each day with her was a new challenge, her especially after my dad passed away. Then I was left alone at home with her since my siblings all had moved out.
Whenever I give presentations about my experiences with my mom, I speak about the absolute necessity to forgive anyone who has hurt or harmed us. That may seem impossible given the depth of the wound that has been inflicted. But withholding forgiveness and clinging to our anger only hurts us – not them. More importantly, our Lord taught us that we will be forgiven in the measure in which we forgive others. That includes our worst enemies. If we don’t forgive others, we will not be forgiven by God.
An Abusive Mother
When I was about twelve or thirteen years old, my mom did something to me that made me ferociously angry with her. I stomped away and complained about it to my dad and he told me something that changed my perspective. He told me that my mom had been raised by an alcoholic father who beat the daylights out of her on a regular basis. Furthermore, she had a gambling-addicted mother who took her most cherished items and sold them for gambling money. Among those items was a cherished doll that had been a Christmas present. Dad’s lesson to me was that we must consider the possible reasons for a person’s behavior. It didn’t excuse what my mom had done, but it helped me step back and look at the whole picture before lashing out.
Consider Saul. He was a zealous Pharisee who rode through the streets of Jerusalem pulling Christian men, women, and children out of their homes. Then he slaughtered them out on the street. Dads, moms, gramdpas, grandmas, babies – he brutally killed them all. But what happened to Saul? He literally was knocked off his high horse, blinded, and reprimanded by our Lord. Jesus showed Saul the gravity and reality of his actions. At that moment, Saul was converted to Christianity, his name was changed to Paul, and he eventually became the greatest of the Apostles and a champion for Christ. Eventually he was martyred for the faith he had once persecuted.
What We Don’t Know
You see, we don’t know the full history or what truly lies in the heart of any person. That holds true to the person who has hurt or harmed us as well. That seemingly wicked person could be a Saul and we don’t know whether, how, or when Jesus will transform them into a Paul. During his ministry, Paul wrote to Timothy about his conversion.
“But for that reason I was mercifully treated, so that in me, as the foremost, Christ Jesus might display all his patience as an example for those who would come to believe in him for everlasting life.” (1 Timothy 1:16)
We might see the person who has hurt or harmed us as our adversary, even our enemy. To us, they are a vilanous Saul, persecuting and destroying us. What they previously have done or are doing now may be evil, but we don’t know their past or what God has in store for them in the future. Be assured that what they’ve done does not go unnoticed even if they seem to be getting away with it. God sees everything and he sees what that person did, is doing, and will do going forward. He will see to their punishment for what they’ve done, but in his way and in his time. He also will see to their conversion whether today, tomorrow or in their final moment of life. Your enemy could be another Saul, a potential Paul.
Image: The Conversion of St. Paul, Giordano, Public Doman
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